Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Diagnosis: CIA

I have a disease.

It is called chronic inexperienced arrogance-itis, or CIA.

I recently diagnosed myself with this disease and discovered that I've had it...all my life.

CIA is defined as the inflammation of the head and/or ego and is characterized by the following symptoms:

a) Thinking you know exactly how you will do everything, even though haven't done it...ever.
b) Saying and/or thinking, "When I'm a (_______) I will NEVER do/say (_______)."
c) Saying and/or thinking, "When I'm a (_______) I will ALWAYS do/say (_______)."

CIA became manifest in my life when, as I took in the mayhem of my house a few months ago, I thought, "MAN! If I had walked into this house even just a couple years ago I would have thought, "My house will never look like this. How can you even let it get this bad."

Blah blah blah BLAH.

What an arrogant thing for me to think! But I did. Before I had EVER had three children 4 and under.


So I started to think about all the other possible manifestations of CIA that I have had over the course of my inexperienced years. Here's a few other "winners":

1) "How could you ever call your child a beast?!! I will never say my child is a beast."

2) "It is just so wrong to let your child cry in their bed. I will never do that."

3) "Of course I will exclusively breastfeed all of my children. Those who give up just didn't try hard enough or just don't understand how important it really is."

Well, guess what? Three children later, I now know:

1) Children can be beasts ...and that is the only word to describe it sometimes.

2) I know some children can learn to sleep well without having to cry. My 2nd child never had to. But my first??! Pffft. Joke. That's how we had to roll with her. And the same with my 3rd. Do I like it? No. But I've learned that some kids have to cry and I don't feel bad about it.

3) OH, how arrogant for me to think this!!!!! I had NO idea what I was talking about. Yeah, in theory I guess if you "tried" hard enough every woman could breastfeed exclusively...but I submit that sometimes there are more important things, such as, but not limited to, a sane mother who enjoys caring for their baby and a healthy, growing baby.

Now, I know that I am not cured of CIA, just because I realize I am infected with it. Here are a few "nevers" I have thought or said that MAY come to haunt me in the years to come:

1) I will NEVER home school.

(This is assuming the school system doesn't get so jacked up, in the morals it teaches, that I couldn't allow my children to be in that environment and....would have to pull them out and home school them. I hope it doesn't because...that thought terrifies me)

2) I will NEVER use cloth diapers.

(I actually hearing they work pretty well nowadays and aren't as much of a hassle as they used to be. But they do require a big investment up front. Who knows....)

3) I will NEVER like running for exercise.

(I have tried to "like" it in the past and even started training for a 5k when we lived in New Mexico. I got to 2 miles and....that's as far as I could go without passing out! BUT....this was in an area that was at 6,000 feet, so the air had less oxygen. I haven't tried it here yet....but it is closer to sea level. Hmmmm...)

Do you or does someone you love suffer from CIA?

Think about probably do.

Matthew 7:1-5
"Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye."


Kimberly said...

I have definitely suffered from CIA. I think we all have to some extent. It's easy to judge when you are not the one in the situation. But I've for sure had some CIA moments w/ parenting. One would be thinking it's ridiculous when everything revolves around a baby or toddler's nap schedule. My sis-n-law has twins and I remember when we would hang out w/ them thinking that I would never let my child's nap schedule inconvenience someone else. They said how horrible it was if the girls didn't take naps...I was like "yeah whatever...why do we have to wait for them to nap before we can go out..." Now I know. And I'm that person. Kate's schedule rules my life.
Right now, I'm totally against spanking. I don't ever want to spank my kids. But maybe I'll have to in some instance. Who knows.
I'm also sorta against crying it out...and I've had to put up with A LOT w/ Kate's sleep issues. But, I'm realizing that you can only have so much patience and it will be harder to not let them cry when you have more than one kid. So I find my views are changing on this.
And I don't think there's anything wrong with changing your opinion on something. You live, you learn. In a way, I think CIA is a good thing! :D Interesting post! Thanks for sharing!

The Westover Family said...

That is funny that you came up with a name for it! That was creative and funny:] I think am infected too! Do you think its contagious?

I SWORE I would breastfeed for a year exclusively and I detested formula...

You know how long I lasted? 2 and 1/2 weeks!!!!BAHAHAHAHAHA! After that I supplemented for a while longer...formula is my friend:]

I promised myself that I would be an attractive wife everyday, exercise, do my hair, a little makeup and wear attractive clothes( as I sit in my pj's sweaty from running around and doing housework). Then sickness, pregnancy and life happens...this is the one I feel the most sad about with the "disease."

You know, if it weren't for LIFE I don't think we would understand Matt 7:1-5 and apply as good as the Savior expects.

Lisa said...

HAHAH, Candance, that was the most AWESOME blog post I have EVER seen! I loved it!!! I am laughing so hard. Yes...I probably have a lot of CIA too. I'll have to think on it and get back to you on my symptoms. Hahah. Good one!

Erin said...

Soooo true. I will never judge another parent that has a screaming kid (except in movie theaters...that's rude! lol) and I won't judge them picking up dirty pacifier and putting it their kid's mouth (sometimes you've got to!). I learned these among others REAL quick and I only have 1!

Great post...I think every mom will relate :)

Brian and Janette said...

Yes...we've all suffered from it to some extent, and I think most of us suffer with it when it comes to parenting. I'm thankful that I was an aunt 13 times before I became a mom. It helped me to see that you just can't plan or force certain things. Each kid comes differently, and you may find yourself trying things that you never thought you would before hand. It's just a lot easier if we're easier on each other...because then we inevitably become easier on ourselves. Oh...and I said I would NEVER run a marathon...ha! So who knows, Candace, you could be next!

Em said...

Totally totally awesome. It seems that hair-pulling-out life experience is the best antidote to this rampant disease. Ha. I always feel bad when I realize one of the judgments I have made--and I want to go back and find whoever I misjudged and say, "I'm sorry I thought that about you! I was so dumb! I didn't understand!!"
You rock.

K Harker said...

Ha ha, Love it! I agree, we all have a little bit of that in us.
Personally though, after I realized I did some of the things I said I never would do, I have tried really hard to be less, judgmental and quick to plan my future around my judgments. I'm not perfect by any means but I find if I remind myself I regret thinking this later, I become less judgmental. Some times it works and some times I'm just too stubborn :)

Good post!

Breeana said...

Guilty as well! I said I'd never let Brady cry to fall asleep and that I'd nurse 18 months and that he wouldn't watch TV 'til age 2.... OH MAN!